AMP - The Anti-Munch Project

[Dustin A. Drache]

Alright, simply because this guide is necessary for all free-form role-playing sites, I'm snitching it from Tanasha because she honestly made the best copy I've seen (and I've been role playing for twelve years). I've not written any of the following, but it's something that will make you a much better roleplayer, and something I think you should all really read.

[Dustin A. Drache]

Introduction and Explanation

The Basics

The Anti Munch Project is all about roleplay awareness. With the onset of poorly skilled roleplayers growing larger all the time, we need this thread to show them where they are going wrong.

This AMP thread lists first the types of roleplayer (all my own definitions by the way), and then the various types of Muncher/Godmoder/Godmodder. These are mostly as they were in the old AMP, but I added a couple terms that I forgot to include in my backup of the previous thread. User input of new terms is a valued thing, and contributions ensure at least a little bit of fame and recognition.

The types of munching have now been ordered alphabetically. I tried to go for 'seriousness of offence', but it was too difficult. I'm open to suggestions. As of February 27th 2006, I have also included the 'Munch Scale'. Collect five coupons and send them in a self addressed envelope to receive your shiny cardboard wall-mountable Munch Scale poster!

As you can see, the Munch Scale, or Scale de Munch in France (coupons from France not accepted), consists of 1 - 10. A rating of 1 means that an act is not really munchy at all, a rating of 10 means you must bring out the Anti-Munch Intercontinental Ballistic Nixx Missile. As you can also see, munch is always at least a little annoying.

The Munch Scale

1 - Not very munch, not very annoying.

2 - Not very munch, a tiny little bit annoying.

3 - Not very munch, slightly annoying.

4 - Slightly munch, somewhat annoying.

5 - Definitely munch, annoying.

6 - Seriously munch, very annoying.

7 - Annoyingly munch.

8 - Annoying and inconvenient munch.

9 - Annoying, unfair, and inconvenient munch.

10 - The be-all-and-end-all of munching. Avoid like the plague.

[Dustin A. Drache]

Types of Roleplayer

Title	Description
Oldbies	Are veterans of roleplaying. They generally know best after years of experience. Becoming an oldbie, however, is not necessarily the ultimate goal; many people are fine just settling down as Literate.
Elites	Elites are on their way to becoming Oldbies, but somehow veer off-course and become asshats instead. Elites can be recognised by their "Elites only" policy, with no lee-way whatsoever. They are generally quite thingyy, think they are better, and insist on using reams and reams of detail. This can be particularly true for magic users, who are convinced that their descriptions of the traits and limits of magic are unquestionable. Another trademark Elite sign is rejecting AMP, and claiming that "common sense" should be used instead. This is in fact pointless since the AMP is common sense. (Not all Literates become Elites before they move on to Oldbies (in fact, some Elites never become Oldbies at all. Don't worry.)
Literates	A growing minority, literate roleplayers are just that. They use correct punctuation and grammar, and roleplay fairly. Literates often refer to, and follow the AMP (Anti-Munch Project).
Proby (Probationary)	Literally someone in between the 'newb' and 'Literate' stages. They combine traits of the two, in various forms, and will very probably become Literate soon enough.
Newbie	A Newbie can at first seem to be a n00b, they can though, learn to correctly roleplay fairly and adequately. Newbies are to be encouraged and treated well, and will often grow into skilled Literates.
ne0 n00b	ne0s (never use a capital 'n' for them!) at first appear to be Literates. This falsehood becomes apparent after a few posts however, as they tend to break the AMP a lot, and are actually just n00bs who can spell.
n00b	(Don't use a capital 'n' for these either!) n00bs are the worst roleplayer available. A sad and terribly derogatory approach to take, but the simple fact of the matter is that they just cannot and will not roleplay fairly, even when outnumbered, outgunned, and obviously dead in character. They will often resort to flaming, leading to eventual bans, new accounts, and new bans.

[Dustin A. Drache]

Anti Munch Project Terms

Term	Description
Aimbotter	Definition Especially annoying when using NPCs, as NPCs don't get to argue about munch. Munch Rating 7 Example A: Three hundred seventy of my trained assassin gymnasts crest the hill, sight you, and rush toward you. B: Luckily, I have three hundred sixty-nine bullets in my chain gun! I quickly mow them all down, each taking a single bullet to the head, and peg the last one with a rock in the sternum.
Augustine	Definition Far, far too prevalent. They try to carry something from one RP into another, just because they're in the same sub-forum. Munch Rating 8 Example A: Given that this RP's technology base is medieval, I happily drive my cart to the market to buy some maggot-ridden meat. B: Too late! I already got there in my Gundam and blew up everything with my insanely overpowered weapons! And don't start whining, because my Gundam's already pre-approved in the "This Is Not a Medieval Technology Base RP" thread.
Baghdad Bobbit	Definition An advanced (or is that "degraded"?) form of Puppetmaster and Aimbotter combined. These people soon become bored of anybody with a lick of skill, and wander off in a huff because the RP will take too long for their precious, precious time. Munch Rating 5 Example A: I fire at the stationary target, hitting twice but missing with my remaining four rounds. B: I get tired of your realistic RPing style and poke you in the neck, collapsing your trachea. You die writhing in torment.
Boa Constrictor	Definition Threads that have a long list of rules that prevent any characters except their own from roleplaying in that thread. No example will be given here, since that would be suggesting rules that shouldn't be used at all, and used separately these rules would be fine. Boa Constrictors most commonly like to ban most forms of magic, guns, NPCs, technology, 'special' abilities etc. The result is, as I said, a thread in which very few characters can venture. I do emphasize that threads should have whichever rules they want, within fairness to other roleplayers. Lists of rules which prevent too much are too, let's face it, n00bish. Munch Rating 4 Example none given
Daydreamer	Definition Not exactly munch, per se, but it does get annoying. They manage to turn seemingly coherent RP into a mad ramble about totally unrelated things. Which is not to say that adding a little insight in the middle of an RP is bad; but try to make it only a few lines, three at the most, as anything else just distracts from the current events taking place. Munch Rating 3 Example A: In the middle of the intense shootout, I dash across the narrow alley, ducking and weaving in hopes to avoid getting hit. I'm unsuccessful; two bullets peg me in the shoulder, throwing me back into a Dumpster. B: The bullets make me think back to my days as a youth, when I had to melt down tin soldiers to use as musket balls against the Redcoats... or was it redskins? I can't remember. Anyway, I had to walk uphill all three ways to school and back, running from glaciers all the while. It was torture, lemme tell ya. And then there's the story of how I met my first wife...
Gaseous Snake	Definition A combination of McFly and Lucky Irishmen. They will often attempt to alter the RP right after the fairly playing RPer has made a post that will see the Snake's demise. They are not, however, as desperate as McFlys in what they change. Munch Rating 6 Example A: I walk to the door and open it. B: Being a fellow with a bit of foresight, I hooked that doorknob to a car battery an hour ago. You're thrown across the room.
Godmoder	Definition A rather broad term, basically covering a character/roleplayer who can overcome any situation. They will often have flashy powers, ignore just about anything you say and do, and somehow manage to be completely unaware of their own unfairness (otherwise known as stupidity). Munch Rating 8 Example A: Now that you're strapped to the end of a naval cannon, I fire it. B: Whoosh! I nimbly dodge, somehow forgetting the fact that I'm restrained by three-hundred-pound chain!
Hi-jacker	Definition These are intensely annoying for thread creators. They are often members of that thread, also. These are the people that take over a thread they are roleplaying in, and either add things in, or perform actions that affect everyone roleplaying in the thread. Munch Rating 5 Example A: Ok! Our base is under attack and we have to defend it! B: *Goes and activates the base's self destruct* Everybody run you have three minutes!
Hiver	Definition So named after such things as the xenomorphs from Aliens, the Klendathu bugs from Starship Troopers (which both use hives), and the teeming hoardes they generally are. These hoardes are always fearless, will battle until dead, and quite often have some excessive weapons and/or armour. Alternate names are Beehivers or Ants. Basically, it's the guys who have too many NPCs. Munch Rating 7 Example A: *He sat alone in his one-man fighter ship, quickly scanning the radar for hostiles* B: *He sat aboard his giant flagship, with his other 1000 ships around him. He ordered them all to attack the tiny fighter in front of them*
IDKFA	Definition Most likely people attempting to emulate Solid Snake or some other cheesy spy-novel hero. They never run out of weapons or ammo, or anything else that leads to them being victorious. Munch Rating 8 Example A: You're all out of ammo for all five of your Ingram submachine guns. Since you're buck-naked, I know I can now safely step into the open and begin returning fire. B: Ha! Little did you know, I have twelve shuriken hidden within my pubic hair!
Ironclad Sentinel	Definition This is fast becoming a problem, and refers to when a thread's subject organization/corporation/military has too many defenses, or defenses that are unrealistically powerful or just plain 'modey. Munch Rating 7 Example A: I am attacking with a battalion of thirty tanks, air support of twenty gun-ships, and three submarines off the coast with Tomahawk cruise missiles. B: Defenses - Forcefield that blocks everything but lets our weapons out, invisibility shield around the base, 100 SAM turrets, 100 machine gun turrets, 1000 guards with machine guns, 200 space fighters, 200 tanks.
Lucky Irishman	Definition A mixture of McFly and Augustine. A person whose character performs an action at chance (with no knowledge of the way it will tip the balance) that turns events to their favour, despite the chances of such a thing happening being incredibly slim. Munch Rating 5 Example A: With your character totally surrounded in a section of corridor, my ten skilled ninja prepare to slice him to pieces. B: My character backs up to the wall, inadvertently tripping the base's alarm. A: ((If I'm going to be honest and fair here, I have to tell you that the alarm would trigger the corridors to be sealed by blast-proof bulkheads.)) B: ((Oh, oops. Guess my character's safe then.))
McFly	Definition Declining in numbers now, these will alter situations (and usually first posts) drastically to give them an advantage in roleplay. Munch Rating 7 Example A: Ha! Now that the force field is down, I run inside your evil lair! B: Um... um... there's also a super-secret second force field which causes you to die instantly! I just didn't say anything about it because... um... I had to do my laundry! Not because I just thought of it now! Honestly!
Min-maxer	Definition Not a lot of those running around here, thank goodness... that's more of a DnD-style paper game issue. Their own strength:weakness ratio is off the charts. Munch Rating 8 Example A: I've successfully broken into the facility which gave you your incredibly 1337 power armor. Now I pull up the file on it. What does it say about weak points? B: The metal of my armor is... um... allergic to praying mantis urine.
Miss Cleo	Definition They use Out of Character knowledge to their own advantage. Munch Rating 8 Example A: ((OOC: There's a secret switch hidden in the lamp.)) B: I suddenly think to myself-- why not check the lamp for hidden switches? Call me now for your free reading!
NIMBY	Definition The people who quite readily attack others' threads, but then stop all attacks on their own thread. Munch Rating 6 Example A: They attacked us! Let's go and get them! B: *Deletes any posts related to an attack and/or pregnant doges to a moderator*
Oblivious Oaf	Definition People who don't explain how what they are using, works. Now this is fine to an extent; you're not expected to know the exact functioning procedure for a gravity-spewing railgun, but at least give a vague idea behind the mechanism. Munch Rating 7 Example A: Hahahahahaha my ultra shield deflects any projectile weapon B: ((Dude, how does that work? I need some info)) A: ((Ahhhhh uhhhhhh.......it....uses......some.......weird substance......that like...........does.....something......and then it like.....deflects all projectiles! Thats how it works, its not like I never explain my gear its just that I just came up with that explanation now, I mean I just had trouble explaining it.))
Oxymoron	Definition Luckily rare. (And no relation to me. I think) They manage, somehow, to be completely contradictory in their posts. Munch Rating 4 Example A: I'm a farmer with a shotgun. B: I'm a black hole which emits blinding pulses of visible light! (For those of you not familiar with physics, black holes allow nothing out of their immense gravity. Not even light can escape.)
Prosecutor	Definition People who claim every one else is Munching when they, in fact, are the only one who is. Munch Rating 8 Example A: My character is a fire mage who casts a two-turn fire spell that will launch a fireball. B: My character is a five year old salamander named George, who makes a funny noise when he walks. George, despite being a normal salamander, is immune to fire, and also capable of devastating mages with a single swipe of his four inch long tail. A: Well if he's a normal salamander, he can't be immune to fire, and if he's immune to fire, he can't be a normal salamander... B: WTF STFU N00B U CANT SAY THAT HES MY CHARACTER NOT YOURS OMG WTF FUHKIN HAX GODMODE
Puppetmaster	Definition Another overly common occurrence. They basically take control of others' characters, often to extremes. It is usually ok to make tiny little changes to another person's character; for example if your own character launches a fireball at a tree, it is safe to assume that other characters will probably watch the tree get hit, and thus you can comment on that. Depending upon the extent to which they puppetmaster, this is not necessarily a form of munching. Munch Rating 4-9 Example A: I step carefully into the room, peering around for occupants. B: Suddenly a dragon pokes you in the eye. You run screaming from the room, whereafter you go home, make a pickle sandwich, and call your mother to cry about how she ruined your life.
Quaker	Definition They can magically 'spawn' anything. Having a character which can retreive things from pocket dimensions is not an excuse, unless said pocket dimension has a previously listed inventory which can be checked. Munch Rating 9 Example A: My character is wearing a form of armour only vulnerable to a drop of water from a holy well in South Dakota. B: *He pulls out the vial of water from a holy well in South Dakota* "I don't know why I always carried this, but I knew it would come in useful one day."
Revisionist	DefinitionAnother prevalent problem. They are akin to a McFly, but rather than trying to be an not a very nice person OOC, they try to be one IC instead. Their characters change their mind, thus causing an annoyance, but not necessarily munching. Munch Rating 4 Example A: You chose the blue pill? Ooh, tough luck. B: Red! I said red! Don't go pulling that "I can read your previous post" mind game crap, either!
Shoe Elf	Definition Pretty obvious Munch Rating 10 Example A: ((OOC: Well, gotta go to bed. Big neurosurgery test tomorrow.)) B: Ho, ho, ho! Now that the loser's gone to bed, I can strap his character to a cross and peg him with rotten fruit!
Speedhacker	Definition One of the worst we have to deal with. Munch Rating 10 Example A: I walk to the door and step outside. B: Suddenly, twelve men grab you, carry you off to my secret lair in Tibet, and torture you for weeks. When you finally die from the agony, we bury you in the frozen wastes. Hundreds of years later, arhcaeologists discover your frozen body and try to determine if you're another Lucy.
Trinity	Definition The knowledge downloaders, the omniscient Billy Joe-Bobs. [Also known as Zoicites] Munch Rating 8 Example A: My character was raised by a gang leader in the harsh conditions of a slum. From this, he learned to wield small firearms fairly effectively and has limited driving abilities. B: My character was born on a remote jungle island and can fly or drive anything and use any gun with perfect aim.
Twink	Definition Sometimes allowed in certain RPs. If the RP isn't specifically about invincible deities and such, a simple rule is that if the strengths aren't counterbalanced with relatively equivalent weaknesses (or if the reasoning behind the phenomenal cosmic powers isn't eloquently and appropriately explained), you're dealing with a twink. Munch Rating 10 Example A: A punch coming, eh? Well, seeing as you're a seven-year-old child and I'm riding in a twenty-meter mecha, I won't bother dodging. B: Fooled you! I have the power to DESTROY EVERYTHING when I punch it! I'm just like an X-Man, and therefore require you to suspend all logic when RPing with me! Oh, and I have the power to steal your girlfriend, too.